This month marks the observance of GLBT pride festivities. I've never been to Madison's pride parade, though I've been to many others in various cities. Somehow it always seems to elude me until the very last second, and invariably I've got something else going on. Madison Pride is much like the IML festivities in Chicago... something that I'd like to attend but somehow the universe is conspiring against me.
Ever since I came out in 1987, pride parades in general have occasionally gotten a strangely bad rap from the very homos they're supposed to represent. More conservative queers (of which there are many in this part of the country) complain that those members of our tribe who dwell closer to the fringe of "normalcy" (as defined by the larger society) are somehow sabotaging efforts to make social and political progress. They say that pride parades are no longer necessary, and that the GLBT community has moved past the need for such things. "Yeah, we're here, we've always been queer, let's just ignore it and move on."
In some ways, I agree. Gaiety is not as verboten as it used to be, at least when observed in the culture as a whole. There will always be pockets of myopic conservatism in which any deviation from an arbitrarily or traditionally established norm will be considered somehow offensive and dangerous. But since the information explosion facilitated by the rise of the internet in the 1990s, the increased visibility (for better or for worse) of GLBT issues in the media, and the public opinion polls that are clearly and continuously evolving as the population sheds its boomer generation, many people even in more remote areas have at least some reminder that GLBT people are out there, and that we're not going away. Visibility is important, but it's not as difficult to come by as it was only 20 years ago.
So, assuming that the good folks who participated in the very first gay pride parade in NYC on June 28, 1970 had different objectives than the participants of today's festvities, what exactly does the Pride Parade do for us? I don't think we're "post-Pride", but are the modern parades less about visibility and more about celebration? If so, what are we celebrating? I thought I'd take a moment and list the reasons why the Pride festivities speak to me, whether there's an actual parade or not.
1.
I'm proud because I managed to flourish despite the lifelong work of the homohating bigots around whom I grew up. As diligently as they all worked to make me hate myself, I think I grew up to be pretty fucking awesome. That's thanks to a wonderful family to be sure, but most of the credit lies squarely with me.
2.
I'm proud of the fact that my relationship with Chris, at 14 years, has lasted longer than many (if not most) straight marriages. I'm also proud that we have managed to carve out a definition of "marriage" that allows us the freedom to be who we are without conforming to hetero-normative relationship constructs. We envisioned the marriage that would make us happy, and we just made it happen. It takes work, commitment, patience, much forgiveness, and lots of love. Yes, I'm proud of that.
3.
I'm proud that our tribe has moved so forward politically as to make the hatred and demonization of GLBT people almost (but not quite) a Biblically justifiable but no longer socially acceptible bias. (Even the Republicans are slowly catching up... I've seen some incremental gains in this area in the last year or so. Frankly, I don't think it has anything to do with the Log Cabin boys... it's just reflective of the general social trend... but I'm happy to see it nonetheless.)
4.
I'm proud because I have been able to live my whole life (so far) without fear of losing my job, losing an apartment, or being arrested simply for being who I am. That speaks to many years of hard work by the generations before us, for which I'm grateful.
5.
I'm proud because the generations coming after mine are apparently even more comfortable with the acceptance of diversity than mine is. It augurs well for the future of our community. The loss of "other-ness" among GLBT folk is for me accompanied by a certain sadness... I hope that as we assimilate into the larger society over the next couple generations that we are able to maintain the unique subcultural qualities that make it so fun (and sometimes so infuriating) to be a GLBT American.
So... yes. We need Pride festivals. We need them to help us remember that we're connected to those GLBT folks who may live closer (or farther) from the social norm than we do. We need them to remember all the work it took to get here, and all the work we still need to do. We also need them to give us an excuse to take a moment out of our busy lives and congratulate ourselves for making it this far. I think Joe.My.God said it best in his annual GLBT pride post (most recently published on June 28, 2008):
"They wish we were invisible.
We're not.
Let's dance."
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