Dave Salmoni should never wear clothes. Ever.

Okay, I've posted about Dave Salmoni before. This Animal Planet television show host, zoologist, and animal trainer has been busy lately appearing on Chelsea Lately and other talk shows, always in a clingy pullover shirt that highlights his smokin' bod. But this collection of photos from a recent shoot in Flaunt magazine was just too delicious to pass up, so I'm featuring Dave again. The one with the corset was particularly distracting. Jesus Mary and Jenna Jameson, that boy is super fine. I might black out.

That reminds me, I have some laundry to do.

As if there weren't enough in the world making us feel shitty about ourselves, now we have Kellan Lutz and friends hawking the new line of Calvin Klein underwear. Holy baskets, Batman...

Okay maybe I enjoyed it just a little bit.

Stronger. Higher. Faster.

Lord have mercy, who knew the American men's bobsled team was populated by such beefy deliciousness? I love the Olympics.

Brad Pitt's body should merit a separate supporting actor nomination from the Academy.

If these two are gonna fit under it, I'm gonna need a bigger tree.

So it's been a while since I've blogged. I haven't had much to say lately. That all ended this morning when I saw the pic (shown above) of Ryan Barry and Victor Fehrenbach, both of whom have been featured previously on this blog.

To catch you up, Mr. Barry is the unspeakably hot former boyfriend of Lance Bass, a former Air Force officer, and a current personal trainer/underwear model/SLDN spokesmodel. Lt. Col. Fehrenbach is the equally unspeakably hot recently-discharged Air Force officer, brand-new homo advocate on the Rachael Maddow show, and a certified American Hero© recently featured on MWG. According to a Towleroad source, the two have apparently been dating for several months. They are seen here in their "Hot Santa" outfits at the AIDS Services Foundation fundraiser last night in Orange County.

The tattoo on Fehrenbach's left pec reads "правда", or "Pravda". The Russian word for "truth", it was also the name of the leading Soviet-era state-controlled newspaper. I'm not sure what that means, but he could have the word "toaster" tattooed on his left pec and I'd still push a bitch out of the way to chew on it.

Many jealous congratulations to the couple. I'm going to get a cold compress now.

Good genes.

Enrique Iglesias is officially the hottest man in the world. Or maybe at least tied for hottest status.

A better use for roux.

You know, I like to think that I've been around the block a few times. Maybe more than a few. But I've never ever seen this before. Leave it to the British to come up with yet another awesome idea.

Here we see the winner of the men's division of the third annual World Gravy Wrestling Championships in Stackhead, Lancashire. 2,200 litres (440 gallons) - or some 40,000 ladles worth - of gravy was produced for the event.

30-year old Scot Joel Hicks, wrestling under the name Stone Cold Steve Bisto, was crowned the World Gravy Wrestling Champion at the event.

Had I attended, you can bet I would have brought a few biscuits to sop up some of Mr. Hicks' gravy. Maybe more than a few.

Let him eat cake.

I'm baaaa-aaaack...

Actually, I never really left. Just took a break and tried to work through some blogger's block. Funny, that. I had so many things to talk about that I just couldn't focus on anything.

So here's what stuck in my craw this week.

This unspeakably hot man is Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach.









He's the son and brother of Air Force officers, has served our country honorably for 18 years, and is the winner of nine air medals for distinguished service in flight. One of those was for heroism during the capture of the Baghdad International Airport. Yes, kids. That means that he really is a documented and certified American Hero©.


And he's being kicked out of the Air Force for being gay.


No, he didn't come out. He was ratted out by some low-life asswipe. He played by the Don't Ask Don't Tell rules. For 18 years he didn't tell. He kept his life private. Say what you want about the value of coming out... it's different for military folk. But now he's being drummed out of the job he loves... a job he's been doing honorably for you and for me for 18 years. And, God love him, he took that square on the chin, came out to his mom and sister, went on Rachael Maddow's show last week, and started to fight.

Listen, kittens. We're 8 years into two wars (one or both of which may or may not be 100% legal... but that's another discussion). We're scrambling to keep skilled servicemembers on active duty. 70% of Americans think that gay and lesbian people should be able to serve openly in our military. Obama promised during his campaign to end the ban, or at least issue an executive order stopping the active enforcement of Don't Ask, Don't Tell pending legislation to rescind that bigoted law. And THIS is what the President and the Pentagon are doing?


Exactly what kind of pussy is afraid to serve with a gay man? What do these little bitches think Lt. Col. Fehrenbach is going to do to them in the shower? Bitch please. You should BE so lucky. And honey, he's been there for 18 years. If he was gonna pull some bullshit, he'd have done it by now. What he DID do was serve with unequivocal excellence and heroism for the better part of two decades. Maybe that's the problem... straight guys and their itty bitty penises egos can't possibly withstand being shown up by a fag, even a big, strapping, delicious, decorated, professional one like Fehrenbach.

Okay fine. Slim Jim has been in office for only four months. He has wars to wage, a global financial meltdown to manage, and Supreme Court justices to nominate. I get it. His plate is full. People say we should be patient... that we should wait... that we should give him a chance.

I've been doing that. I've been patient. But really... DADT is low-hanging fruit. The vast majority of the American public supports its repeal (and doesn't the military work for us?). An executive order halting the process wouldn't trump the law of the land, it would just stop the hemorrhaging and give lawmakers a chance to breathe while they craft the appropriate legislation for its repeal. It would also shut the GLBT activists up for a second.

But is that what Slim Jim is doing? Of course not. The only public statements he's made about any issue related to GLBT equality have been jokes. Jokes. First making a joke about marrying David Axelrod in Iowa (at the White House Correspondents' Dinner), and most recently at a Democratic fundraiser in L.A. where he quipped that after a gay rights protester outside yelled that he should keep his promises, he wondered what promise the guy was talking about.

Um, how about any of them? They're listed on the White House website. Maybe Sasha can pull that up for you on her laptop and you can read them while she finishes her breakfast.

(Thanks to a correction from an anonymous commenter, it appears that the comment outside the L.A. fundraiser may have been shouted by someone expressing their desire for Obama to acknowledge the Armenian genocide rather than by a marriage equality advocate. I didn't know that there even was an Armenian genocide, but then again I'm hardly a historian. It was a horrific war crime committed by the Ottoman empire around 1915. Not sure what Obama's supposed to do about that almost 100 years later, and it's not clear that his joke was made with the knowledge of the questioner's affiliation. I stand tentatively corrected on that point, but my point about Obama's deafening silence and documented jokes at our expense still stands.)

There's never a convenient time to extend equal civil and human rights to any minority. Never. If he's waiting for a perfect political and social climate to make good on his promise to be our "fiercest advocate", then he might as well wait for a flying unicorn to drop ice cream turds on the White House lawn. Not gonna happen. Man up, Mr. President. Our patience is wearing rather thin. Much more stalling, silence, and insensitive jokes, and we'll start thinking we've been bamboozled in the most craven and calculated of ways.

Or maybe we're thinking that already.

Cant... breathe..

Jake Gyllenhaal is unspeakably hot.

I know, I know. It's a cliche for gay men to be into him, but holy Christ on a cracker is he ever pretty. He's bulked up a bit for his new flick "Prince of Persia", and it certainly shows in these publicity stills from the movie. I almost had the green apple splatters when I saw these images on Towleroad. His hotness is impervious to any criticism, even though those extensions kinda look like Jennifer Aniston's shag from the 90s. Seriously... when you first looked at the pictures, did you even notice the hair? Now that you have, do you give a shit? I thought not. Neither do I.

Jake's deliciousness is certainly attributable to his rockin' body. Lithe, lean, muscular perfection has been desirable in the male form since the Renaissance, so that's no surprise. Couple that with his goofy smile puppy-dog features and you get the combination of sexy and geeky that is just impossible to resist, I don't care who you are. His sister is the funky and fabulous actress Maggie Gyllenhaal. He's even descended from Swedish royalty, for fuck's sake. (He's also a nice Jewish boy. Call your mother. She worries.)

These pics from the new film are combined with some other publicity stills, including some from Jarhead. There's a pic of Jake with his little friend Austin Nichols, an actor with whom he has been allegedly romantically linked despite his well-publicized connection with beautiful women like Reese Witherspoon. I don't put too much stock in the gay rumors... besides, it's not like I'd have a shot anyway. But if he were inclined to play for our team, Mr. Nichols would have to be crowned as the Luckiest Bitch Alive TM.

Unspeakable hotness: Rene

Unspeakable hotness is the theme today. DNA magazine featured this inked Brazilian pro soccer player named Rene, and I almost blacked out. This mellow, quiet, mild-mannered Papi has played soccer all over the world and is now coaching somewhere in the US. Does DNA mention where in the US? Irritatingly, no. Dudes like this are the reason why square cut swimsuits were invented.

The beautiful photographs are by Andy Armano (www.andyarmano.com), a very talented (and very fortunate) photographer in South Beach.