Too much of a good thing?

Thanks to the good folks at Queerty, the work of British photographer Phillip Toledano has made me think this morning. Good thing I had my coffee already.

I've always had a fascination for cosmetic surgery and those who pursue it. I have friends who've had rhinoplasties for legitimate medical reasons and all, but I don't think I'm close to anyone who's had any kind of full-on cosmetic procedures. I enjoy big fake boobs immensely, not just because they're fun to look at, but because it says something about the woman who has them installed. I'm also completely open to having some procedures done myself once it becomes necessary (assuming it hasn't already).

But I'm not one who thinks men look particularly attractive after more than just minor intervention. Perhaps it's a double standard, but it still strikes me as odd for a man to undergo major elective cosmetic surgery. I am much more accepting of this for women. Or maybe it's just that the surgical technology simply isn't available yet to provide a truly natural-looking result for some procedures. Almost always, the best course of action is to take one step back from the surgical plan and do just a little less than the patient thinks is needed.

It's the surgical analog to Coco Chanel's famous and very true instructions… before going out for the evening, a lady should always stop in front of the mirror and remove one piece of jewelry.

Sometimes less really is more.

More bacon, please. With a defibrillator on the side.

So it seems that my cholesterol, which was checked this morning for the first time ever, is armageddon-like in its horribleness. Triglycerides? 700% higher than normal. Good cholesterol? 1/3 lower than normal (that's not good). Bad cholesterol? 50% higher than it should be. And my glucose level is so high that I think I might have Karo syrup coarsing through my veins.

The weird thing is that I feel great. I've been working out, and have been active and energetic over the past year and a half or so. Who knew my cardiovascular status was so awful? The last thing I want to do is stroke out or die, so the following changes will happen as of now:

1. Diet changes. My diet wasn't all that bad to begin with, or so I thought... but perhaps my ability to discern good from bad dietary choices is sub-optimal. The data certainly seem to point in that direction. Breakfasts of oatmeal, lunches of salads or home-cooked lean meats, and dinners focusing on low carb healthy crap... that's going to be my life for the next several months.

2. Cardio. It's high time that my workout regimen was more consistent with respect to cardio... I've done lots of lifting, but I've been lame when it comes to the cardio workouts. That's ending.

3. Caloric intake reductions. Turns out triglycerides are created when excess calories are not used.

4. Alcohol moderation.... shit....

Disturbing.

Normally, Francois Sagat is pretty hot in kind of a moderately crazy way. But this? No. This is the last straw.

There are two things that completely freak me out, and one of them is clowns. In this clip, Francois is in the forest for some reason. He's made up from the neck up like some sort of weird clown. The rest of his body is covered in some kind of fishnet body stocking, a black jock, and shin pads like soccer players wear. He doesn't seem to be doing anything. In fact, he kinda looks like he's waiting for a bus.

I always knew the French were strange. Beautiful people and culture, but there's a definite undercurrent of weirdness.

Gus the fugly dog, 9.

I just don't know why this bothered me... I have no pets, though I can easily fall for the right dog. I just like the fact that this fugly pooch had his 15 minutes of fame.

A one-eyed, three-legged dog that won the title of world's ugliest pooch this summer has died.

The St. Petersburg Times in Florida reports that Gus, a Chinese crested dog, had cancer. He was 9.

Gus was rescued from a bad home and went on to win the annual World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in northern California. Gus came from humble origins. According to the fair, his adopted family in Gulfport, Fla., rescued him after learning he was being kept in a crate inside someone's garage. He had one leg amputated because of a skin tumor and lost an eye in a cat fight.

Gus' owner had said the prize money from the contest would be put toward the dog's radiation treatment.